Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dinner with A

Tonight at dinner during a conversation we were having I made a comment about "all the little Chinese girls running around."

A looked at me and said "Mommy, don't tell everyone?"

I asked her, "What am I not supposed to tell everyone? That you are Chinese?"

She hesitated a moment and said, "Yes, don't tell everyone that I am Chinese?"

I am not sure who everyone is, it was just our family at dinner.

Kurt tried to explain to her that anyone who looks at her will know that she is Chinese.

Later I did explain to her that since she was born in China she is Chinese, but now she is an American too. I don't think at the age of 5 she truly understands all of this, but it was kind of strange to hear her respond the way she did.


Kristin said...

I do think that it's hard for the kids to understand it all. My girls know they were born in China and can state their Chinese names and stories. They will often speak about that in public if prompted but not always. They will usually proudly state they were born in China and include their Chinese names. My feeling is to let them be who they feel like being that day. Somedays they feel more Chinese; other days they feel more American. Does that make sense?

We may never totally get it. Unfortunately.

Marla said...

Oh to know what goes on in their cute little heads.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is like my son...she doesn't want it pointed out that she is Chinese because that is different from her family...kind of a belongingness issue.

day by day said...

Awww.....she is so sweet!

My girls are sooo proud that they are Chinese now at the age of 4, but I expect that may change back and forth over the years.

Carla said...

It's such a hard thing to know what to say. You almost have to know where it is coming from before you can properly respond.

*sigh* Soooo hard.

Holly said...

Oh sweet girl. Perhaps she just doesn't want to be different. Josiah was adopted right before he turned two, so he was younger,but from the beginning we have told him his story, made a little lifebook for him with pictures and now when we say anything about China he says, "I live in China" and we correct him and tell him that he USED TO live in China and he was born there. I think it may be awhile before A. realizes that some of her features are beautifully different from yours so that people will know that she is Chinese when they see her.
Sweet girl. Hope to see you at GIFT next week.

Doug and Terrye said...

Grace is always asking about people: "Are they born from China too?" She hasn't quite figured out what's all about either.

Terrye in FL

Rachel said...

Anytime Olivia sees a Chinese girl she will say "I knew her when I was in China." She also thinks all babies come from China. At four it is really fun watching her get the reality of her heritage.